by Frank J

The miracle life giving booty building workout

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The bootyous maximus- whoops I mean the gluteus maximus, aka your butt, is one of the most important muscles in your body. Not only does it look fantastic when you take the time to work on it but it is also the biggest muscle in our body working against gravity to keep us up right which is our most human characteristic if you really think about it. You see your amazing booty does this by moving your hips and thighs like a conductor while at the same time keeping your torso upright all working together like a beautiful symphony. But one thing that is very clear in this world of flat pancake butts and fake plastic booties is that people are not using their butt’s enough and I don’t mean it like that, get your mind outta the gutter. What I mean is we aren’t using those muscles! We aren’t walking enough or running enough, we aren’t doing anything enough! The only things we are doing more than enough of is sitting and eating and this is a problem because butt health is a pretty good indicator of overall health and longevity.

And if you don’t know what longevity is, longevity basically means long life and that’s what most of us want right? A long healthy life? Well if you’re  like me you want to live a long time that means you gotta be active, spending as much time out and about getting all the steps you possibly can while not forgetting to eat right and you will see that the side effect to this standard of living will be your butt looking amazing and like it’s actually being used and being used the right way! But staying on the subject of longevity there is a workout that is synonymous with the butt but also research associates this exercise with an increase in something called human growth hormone which is super involved with general muscle growth all over the body not just the cheeks below your waist.

You must be wondering what this miracle life giving booty building workout is and I’ll tell you.

Drum roll please *drum roll*

The Squat!

Yes, the mighty squat that we all know and hate or love is a very special move for a few reasons. The first reason is something I already touched on which is yeah they are terrific for you and your butt but that’s not all. When doing a squat not only are you using your ass but you’re also engaging your quads, hip muscles, obliques, calves, and hamstrings. Targeting all those muscles in turn strengthens all your tendons, bones, and ligaments which is perfect because it protects you from the deterioration of old age and even keeps your lower back and spine safe so you aren’t wobbling around in a walker in your 60s. They even help with your flexibility and being able to keep a full range of motion which honestly most people are unable to do (I myself included but I’m working on it) and that’s because we spend too much time in unnatural sitting positions or laying down and doing nothing  which in turn overtime takes away strength from our ankles and hips which creates a weakness that we then need to fix before we can do a proper full butt to carpet, wood, yoga mat, grass wherever you are squat.

The other reason I mentioned was that doing squats releases the human growth hormone which is probably the second thing I want more than a baseball booty because human growth hormone is what causes us to grow and build muscle and stay strong but something happens once we hit that dreaded “middle age” because our bodies begin to pump less and less of this vital longevity hormone which is why you start losing energy and bone density and all that jazz when you’re 60 but it doesn’t have to be that way!

Now, you could opt to get this miracle hormone through supplements or injections but I personally prefer the ole natural alternatives which could be done through fasting but this article isn’t about fasting! it’s about SQUATS and squats in my opinion are more effective anyway because not only do they release this divine growth hormone but there’s also all the other added benefits  to your strength and flexibility and bone density all the other mentioned already plus doing 20-30 squats a day sounds a whole lot easier than taking on intermittent fasting (and I’m speaking from genuine experience) unless you think changing your diet and the frequency at which you eat would be easier.

This also brings up something that I learned recently which is that developing our muscles and maintaining muscle mass is another part of longevity because it signals to our brain that everything needs to keep working in order to maintain all that muscle so what does that tell ya? Does it tell you that  25 squats a day keeps the grim reaper away? No? Too dark? Ok how about, 25 squats a day keeps the nursing home away? LOL! Ok I’m done but seriously squats need to stop getting slept on and that’s an affirmation to myself as well. And there’s still the cosmetic benefit of doing squats on a regular basis and seeing those flabby cheeks turn in bomb shells for the beach. Not to mention, your legs will look like they could crush a watermelon or an apple and feel like they could too.

Now I’m going to attach two videos:


that helped me with my squats and explain how to do them correctly in better words than I can so you can see and follow along but if the squats they’re doing are too difficult here are some simple instructions to get you started so you have a foundation to build up from.

  1. First, start by standing with your feet apart and parallel to each other.
  2. Then place your hands on your thighs.
  3. Look up and lift your chest, bend your knees to a 90-degree angle, putting all your weight on your heels and sitting back slowly.
  4. Imagine there’s a chair although your knees shouldn’t go beyond your toes, and your head and chest should stay upright and hold that position for 5 seconds.
  5. Then, rise back up, pressing through your heels, and straighten your hips back to the starting position and repeat until you feel like you can’t anymore or just do 5 or 10 or whatever you’re comfortable with and if you stay constituent.

I guarantee you’ll see results in those cheeks in no time. 😉



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